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With youth comes speed.  Your younger years are/were highly active, you enjoy a physical activity, or many physical activities, you move through several different academics in one day of school, you are concerned about whether Bobby is with Jenny or with Sussie, you keep up with the latest trends and bands, and you try to do as much as you can as fast as you can.

With age, there comes a time when you realize you have been betrayed by your youthful vigor and that you have missed out on so much.  You begin to move a little slower, take a little longer, take in more and enjoy the details.  Art has more meaning than it’s face value, food tastes more extravagant, and a cool breeze on a perfect day is like gold.  You begin to understand those around you and more importantly, you begin to understand yourself.

In our current generation, you don’t begin your adult-hood until your early twenties (and that might even be stretching it for our media craving – video gaming youth of today).  For most, that is 1/4 of your time on this earth.  As children, the world is brand new and full of awe.  We are greatly affected by every experience.  What we go through molds us into our definition as a human both good and bad.

How do you know you’re not a child anymore?  Well, that is a loaded question but here is one main key:  You might not be a kid anymore when you get to the point where you are able to connect the dots between what happened to you as a child and who you are today.  You grew up in a big loving family and therefore you have a strong desire to be around people all the time.  Or maybe your big family was a nuisance and now you crave solitude.  Your parents got divorced when you were a young girl and you moved in with your Mom.  Now, you realize why you don’t feel secure when you are without a boyfriend.  Maybe you were abused as a child and instead of wondering why you hurt so much, you are at a place where you realize you actually aren’t such a bad person and you don’t have to feel guilty anymore – because it wasn’t your fault.  If you know what I’m talking about, I think you’ve done some growing up.

You are healing deep.  No more, “why do I feel this pain???”  Instead, you are saying, “I understand, therefore I don’t need to cover up the wound anymore but instead I can mend it.” If you are here, I commend you.

Closing rant: While riding the subway today, I saw the words I HATE FAKE PEOPLE graffiti-ed on the door.  Can I just say that I have an issue with this statement.  First off, the one stating it is also claiming that they are capable of judging who is “fake” and who is not, presupposing that they are “real.”  What is “real” and who decides what it consists of?  I don’t know about you, but I certainly do not desire to fit into anyones box.  We are all humans with our own unique experiences.  What makes sense to you might not have crossed my path yet.  We are all learning and full of beautiful flaws.  Lets just leave it at that.  Soap box demounted.

“I’m moving slower and I’m taking a little longer. But I’m healing deeper and I’m feeling stronger. I’m tearing down defenses and opening my senses to the wonder… of a lover crying out.”

– Jason Upton

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